Memorial Post from 2004

Rest in Peace ARCHANGEL aka David Gauthier Born: January 5, 1966 Died: November 14, 2004 Profile of ARCHANGEL We remember the times you shared with us, your friends and family.The trip to the Haunted barn where you tried to scare us to death. You made us laugh when there was nothing to laugh at. You were not selfish with your time or friendship. There was never a moment without a smile on your face. You're presence online was full of fun. One never knew when you would pop online just to harrass or scare us. Diversity never got you down. People should learn from you! Even though you were burden with a disease you didn't deserve, you still lived with dignity. You didn't let it get the best of you. I remember you "bugging" me on messenger just to have a bit of fun. Sometimes you got extremely annoying but you still left behind a smile. Everyone who crossed your path always left with a smile or a chuckle. You touched so many lives in such a short time Many here may have seen you in the chatroom, while others seen you in here. Friends: You had many, more than you really know! Many here may have seen you in the chatroom, while others seen you in here. Friends: You had many, more than you really know! On behalf of Mr. Grizzly (who knew you the longest) and myself, (who met you only 3 yrs ago yet have known you for 6 yrs) wewish to thank you for being part of our lives and spreading cheer in spite of your burdens. bigdjg@hotmail.com

Guidέliήέs

Rules Management Requirements: Maintain a fun & ©safe community Willing to promote membership Manager Rules: Provide activities that will be enticing to the members Create eye appealing custom pages and tags that are exclusive to this group. This will ensure members stay for special rewards. NOT ALLOWED: DO NOT ban members. Any and all offensive member should only have their membership cancelled and their name posted on a "Bad Member" list. If they re-join using a different name and continue to cause problems within the group then a manager meeting is re-quired to decide their fate... DO NOT delete any pages or lists without first obtaining permission from the Group Owner. This will allow me to first save the page in notepad or to a back up group should I wish to return the page to its original state Your Manager/Owner: Queenie aka American Sweetheart THESE GUIDELINES SERVE AS A MEANS TO KEEP OUR HOME RUNNING SMOOTHLY.

I Choose You

I Choose You Sep 8, '04 11:03 PM ǻήgέ£♥of♥£ovέ♥ I Choose You If I was a meadow, I'd choose you as my flowers, If I was a canyon,  I'd choose you as my river, If I was the ocean ,  I'd choose you as my surf, If I was a volcano,  I'd choose you as my lava, If I was the thunder,  I'd choose you as my lightning, If I was a candle,  I'd choose you as my flame, If I was the day,  I'd choose you as my sunshine, If I was the night,  I'd choose you as my stars, and if I was forever, I'd choose you as my eternity. Written by An Anonymous Friend of mine. A real Sweetie talented Person!!

Something to think about...

Around the corner I have a friend, In this great city that has no end,    Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,    And before I know it, a year is gone.    I never see my old friends face,    For life's a swift and terrible race,    He knows I like him just as well,    As in the days when I rang his bell, And he rang mine. We were younger then.    Now we are busy, tired men.    Tired of playing a foolish game,    Tired of trying to make a name.    "Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim   Just to show that I think of him."    Tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,    The distance between us just grows and grows.    Around the corner, yet miles away, "Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today." That's what we get and deserve in the end. Around the corner, a vanished friend. Remember always say what you mean. If you love someone, let them know. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell them what they mean to you. When you decide it's the right time, it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. Most importantly, Stay close to your friends and family, for they have shaped the person you are today.

A True Hearts Wish

Trying to hide the hurt of the heart. Not knowing what to feel or think. Wishing for patience waiting for hope. Confusion setting in with no answers in sight. Watching a name appear and remaining silent. Wishing for conversations like in the beginning. Yet sitting here just watching the screen. Not making a sound not making a move. Simply waiting for them to decide this fate. Unable to speak words once spoken. 3 words from the heart stuck on a tongue. Kept silent in wait until destiny is revealed. Hugs kept at bay yet wishing to hold tight. A tiny one hidden deep within wishes a family. One that doesn't require weekend visits. But only God knows what destiny holds. Only he can lay out the road ahead. So I sit watching the screen often wondering. What thoughts he's thinking... Wondering if he sometimes miss... The laughter, the talks, the smiles that came easy, The hopes of something too magical to imagine. So again in silence I sit just watching what happens next. Hoping he'll say hi once in awhile. These are only wishes of mine... Not up to me to make them true. I can only send prayers and hope for the best.

Do tears ever really stop?

Will the tears ever stop? Will the heart stop loving? Why must one pretend everything is ok? When in fact nothing has changed. Why must this torture endure? Why do memories continue to haunt? Is there any relief insight? Must this silent hurt forever exist? Pretending to hate, pretending not to care... Has taken it's toll on this conscience. To the point that only guilt remains. Love doesn't simply disappear at a moments notice. If it does, it was never really there anyway. Perhaps that's why there's guilt. Perhaps that's why tears have returned. Hiding the hurt just too much to handle. Do tears really stop? Or do they just hide from view? Does Love ever really go away?

Shimmering Rays of Light

May 14, '04 12:10 AM ǻήgέ£♥of♥£ovέ♥ Shimmering rays of Light glowing from within. Glowing brighter with each true heart beat. Showering those in sight with peace and tranquility. Spreading happiness and kindness through out God's land. Someday turning all darkness into pure glorious light

;

My Personal Vision

May 14, '04 12:07 AM by ǻήgέ£♥of♥£ovέ♥ My Personal Vision A Vision of Hope A Vision of Love A Vision of Beauty A Vision of You Come share your Vision with me!

The Walk!

Admist the trail of flowers I walk, Remembering what used to be, The laughter, the fun, the closeness. Each stone I come across tells a bit of history. The couple who held each other til their final hour, The little girl who only wanted peace for all, The tiny baby silently chosen for golden wings, Then deep in the corner beneath the weeping willow, An empty space waiting for the one walking in the clouds. Each step saw tears and sadness at a life cut short. Walking among the flowers with tears in my eyes, I see all the missed opportunities that never came to be. Silence among the roses reflect the heart of woes. The tranquility of this place is mixed with tears. For this walk I take among these flowers gently reflects life. The cemetary of those who loved to deeply found their peace.

Sharing of a smile!

Sharing of a smile! Feb 19, '04 5:38 AM by ǻήgέ£♥of♥£ovέ♥ Why must so many be in pain? There shouldn't be so many tears. There shouldn't be so many fears. Yet everywhere you go they are there. You can see pain in their faces, Fear in their eyes. Don't they know there's much worse to bear? What about all who's died over there? Isn't their fate much worse than ours? They actually do have reason to fear. We should walk with our heads held high. And our hearts should be bursting with love. At the sacrifices being made out of fear, Over there! Maybe next time while walking the street, Look into these sad fearsome faces, A word not need be spoken, just a smile. A gentle hand to lead the way to fearless day. Let's share our smiles to someone today!

This is a rebirth of writing! Unconditional Love

Love is free, there is no charge. Love is kind, caring and true. Love is unconditional. Love doesn't judge nor complain, It don't give ultimatums or orders, It only holds you in comfort away from fear, Love don't hurt nor does it fear, It don't listen to rumors or jealously, It dries your tears when your sad, It accepts you for being you, Love don't care what you do, It will merely support your decisions, Whether you are right or wrong, Love will not falter, It hugs your soul when there's need, It caresses your heart to feel joy, It takes nothing from you, It does not give you pain, It merely lets you know someone cares, You will not be judged on your habits, You will not be judged on the way you dress, You will not be judged on the way you look, Love don't care if your fat or skinny, It don't care if your young or old, It don't care what trouble you've been in, Love don't care about the rumors, Love only cares about the person you are, It don't care about the person you were, My plea to you is simply this, Love simply, Love true, Love forever; And most important of all, Love Unconditionally!   Give your unconditional love to someone today. Share a hug. ========================================= From: AppealingCatherine_49 - - - - 2/11/04 Love is what connects each heart to another,it’s the good in all people, to look at someone else as they just are, to me that’s love accpetance. what I feel how about anyone else? Share your thoughts..miss everyone too ..love Cath =========================================

A Person without soul!

Something was missing, something was lost. What it was she only knew. She was losing her romantic heart. Where were the kisses that were more than just goodbyes and hello? The morning and afternoon kisses, The after breakfast, lunch, dinner kisses, The "I miss you" & "I care" kiss, The gentle, soft, loving kiss, The long passionate never let go kiss. She couldn’t help but wonder if she was the cause. Her heart was cracking, not breaking. Still the tears wouldn't stop flowing. She felt undesirable. She felt not good enough to be kissed, but once. Where were the hugs that never let go? The ones that just held ya when you felt blue, The hugs that comforted free falling tears, The hugs that needed no reason but just to hold. All she wanted was to feel special. She only felt used, even though she actually wasn’t. She wanted to be able to cry without reason. She wanted strong arms to hold & comfort her. She had lost all hope, all vision. Her soul was dying and she didn’t feel like fighting. She sat in her corner with her precious notebook. It was her silent refuge away from the dangers of life. The one thing that always brought happiness, now only brought sadness. Standing up she took one more look at her precious refuge, and tossed it out the window. People seemed so cruel and misunderstood. They had told her to stop escaping. Her notebook was exactly that: Her escape. She couldn’t bear it any longer. The tears flowed more heavily then before. She wanted to be a person she was proud of. Without her little escape, she was disgusted  with even her own shadow. She decided that perhaps she’ll be exactly what others wanted her to be. To be the person that had no heart and no soul. They merely wanted a business attitude that had no life. No substance. They assumed that she was herself when out and about. They were wrong. The real her came out in her writings, without those she was going to be like the rest. With one last teardrop, she got up from her corner, wiped her eyes, decided to be the way people wanted her to be. A person without soul! ========================================= From: latenite - - - - 2/5/04 WOW WOW WOW WHY do We have to conform to the MOLD that society sets forth? WHY can't We be Our OWN person? =========================================

True Love

The Meeting 12/20/2003 12:51 AM Sometimes out of the blue you meet someone who brings laughter and smiles back into your life. It makes you feel real good inside that these souls still exist. That special person can make you feel happy when it's really needed. The Realization 1/21/2004 11:05 AM   Love tends to sneak up on you when you least expect it. By the time you realize it's upon you, it's too late to push aside. Let it grow and hope this time it'll remain precious and your heart unbroken. Let love flow through every vein in your essence, let it consume your every breath. True love only comes once in forever. This must be it. The Betrayal 4/2/2004 1:30 PM It was never intended to betray. Only to be the best for you. To make you happier than before. So I studied to see who made ya smile. Studied all you called your friends. Hoping to be like them to make you laugh like they. Watching you give them hugs while I got none. Lot of things I should have said but fear took over. Afraid of anger at words spoken from only feelings. When only feelings were told. The intentions were only to make you happier. The actions; however, I admit were wrong. I hope to make it right, to change what's wrong. My fears should have been revealed to you. Instead of hidden away from you. I hope it can be as it was before it came to this. I wanted special moments of just 2 and not crowds. Hiding behing a face 4/2/2004 11:45 AM I hate hiding behind a face not mine. If it works to return my heart then I'll take the challenge. The only thing that can't hide is the look in my eyes when I think of you. I pray I'm able to fix what is broke. I don't know how long I can keep this up hopefully long enough for it to work. Love seems so difficult at times. I will sit silently and cry my tears. The Task 4/11/2004 7:14 PM There's just too much to deal with today. It's all one sided. Everything falls on me. I still have no idea where to begin. From the beginning? That's not possible when your feelings are this strong. You can't pretend this hasn't happened. Trying to figure out what to do just isn't easy. I only know the end is here for me. I won't start over but continue on from here. I'll wait as long as it takes to make things right. But will I continue to be blocked from succeeding? The longest wait was 10 years. I hope I don't have to wait that long again. Perhaps I'll give myself my own time frame. Yet I won't reveal that here. I will win when I put my mind to something. Who knows what will work and what will not. The Wait 4/23/2004 10:04 AM Why is it so hard to wait? This is tearing me all apart. I'm slowly disappearing into the darkest reaches of the universe. It's a death of sorts that comes upon me. Will I ever be revived? How long must I wait? Fear of the unknown is getting to me. I can't escape from this. Never before have I felt this kind of pain. I only hope for a miracle that I seek. Time is all I have left. Patiently waiting for the one true love. Hard enough but must be done. I just hope this isn't the end. I simply can't bear the thought. Missing pieces 5/06/2004 There's a huge piece of my heart missing and my soul is without life. You took those with you when you went away. There's a hole where my life had been. That piece is also in your care. I've lost the one thing that really made me whole. Praying each night it will find it's way back. To repair the damage that's been caused. There's still time, of this I know. But how much longer will I suffer? God above only knows. I hope he carries me through this. Without your love I'm a useless wasteland. I can't even function like before. Will I ever recover from this missing heart? Only God and time can answer that. I dream for patience that I must learn. The key to the repair lies within. So here I say this little prayer... ~*Lord, grant me the patience to endure this trial, this test of devotion that is my calling. Help me to learn this gentle gift that I may find true love returned. I give my heart into your hands, my soul as well is given thee. Thank thee all for thy care of me as this journey, I must make.~* 11/9/2004 4:50 AM Tears hidden behind these eyes, Silently grieving as if life's end is near. Hurting like never before, Never again will my heart know happiness. It's death growing closer with each passing day. No more will love be given to another. No more strong arms braced in a hug. Hugs become less meaningful. Smiles become faked. Laughter will only be a fleeting moment. It too will be short lived. This heart dies a little more with each memory. This soul hurts more with each dying beat. Soon both will be replaced with an unhappy shell. A gift of love given freely, totally and without judgement is now only shuttered forever.

Precious Memories

Lady Rose - May 14, 2004

LadyRose   A Lady dressed all in Pink smiling with deep blue eyes. Tending to her garden of Roses in bloom. Giving them such special care to grow tall and strong. How precious her garden  woven with tender loving care. This LadyRose with glorious deep blue eyes. © LadyJane All Rights Reserved

Visions!

What is your favorite vision? Haven't you ever wished upon a star for something totally fantastic? Think on this a moment........ World Peace & Freedom Child Safe streets True/Real Love Miracles Families that stay together Holidays that really are special Happiness forever Can these visions ever come true? Only your heart can answer these... Follow your heart, it never lies. Truth and happiness is hidden within it's boundaries.. Open those gates and let it all be heard...Give your heart freedom to love like you've never loved before... ©2003~Ǻήgέ£♥OF♥£oVέ~all rights reserved From: AppealingCatherine_49 - - - - 12/4/03 I wsih for everyone to feel loved and extend simple acts of kindess to everyone. Best gift we can give to one anothe from our own heart, its free, doesn't cost us in the monetary sense, but where it really counts inside our own self..Wish all a very Happy blessed holiday season as well. I also wish could spell better lol.. Love Cath

A walk with my Grandma!

A walk with Grandma When I was little me and my grandma used to take long walks in Riverland park before they paved the paths. We would take a little picnic with us and simply walk along the paths picking flowers. The water was high back then, not dried up as they are now. When we would get into a clearing where the picnic tables and swings were, we would stop and have lunch and grandma would push me on the swing. It was a long walk but it was nice to be able to forget about the city and pretend we were on some country road back in the 18??'s. My brother Ricky often came with us, so much so we became the 2 musketeers. Walking through the park and sitting on the logs near the river. Afterwards we would go to Strohs Ice Cream Parlor and have an icecream cone before walking home. It was very calming and peaceful. I have taken my daughter on those walks tho now the roads are paved and they opened it so you can go all the way to Dodge Park now without having to go through weeds. And even tho the river is practically dried up.. It's still a nice walk and the Ice cream parlor is still operating for an icecream treat after the long tiring walk... Both my grandma (Oct 23, 2001) and my brother (Aug 22, 1990)are gone now, but I can still see them walking with me on those trails in Riverland Park; now called North Clinton River Park~ Thank You for allowing me to share this memory! ========================================================== From: _KingofHeartsShawn_ - - - - 11/29/03   Very touching....and very moving. Thanks for the post. Shawn   "Stillness is what creates love. Movement is what creates life. To be still and still moving, this is everything. --Unknown

My one true friend you know who you are.

From: AppealingCatherine_49  Sent: 11/22/2003 10:01 AM   Your the one friend I have who is very honestly true, who loves and helps others with all they can, that my friend is you. I have found one friend unlike my other friends I know. Your one person who has help me to learn and grow. You are an important special friend whom gives of themselves unselfishly. You never have asked whats in it for me. You work so hard and are put daily to life's enduring test. I see how you grow weary and tired, but yet keeping doing your very best. I watched how you reach out to others by things you say and do, the gift you give to me and others is a heart so caring and honestly true. You have the greatest of strength as your own personal pain you mask and hide, you never let the rest of the world see the way you feel, and hurt and cry. My friend your the strongest and a  quiet silent hero to me. The best friend anyone could ever have in thier life to be. I am priveledged, so very proud to call you my best dearest friend. I promise and pledge to you always to stand by, you to the very end. For you have taught me in this life roads do not have to be traveled alone, in your arms I find solace a place that feels like home. Though I won't ever use your name here you know who you are, your Caths very best friend her shining golden star. I love you so much with all that I too can give of my own heart. My word is my pleadge I promise to be here to never part. Thankyou for the gift you give to me and all those you touch my sweet dear best friend. I love you cath. From: Ǻήgέ£♥OF♥£oVέ♥ Sent: 11/22/2003 2:21 PM   Cath, no words were truer spoken than these... However sadness appears when some don't realize the true value of that friendship and instead of trying to work out differences tend to cause hurt instead. Hiding the hurt sometimes is the only way to survive the pain long enough to move forward. True friends as you describe seem so few, It's understandable why they are the most special. For they truely are a rare breed indeed. If only more friends realize their true potential.. Enemies will disappear and everyone will be happy...  You brought the true meaning of friendship in your words written here.. I hope many people read them and put them to heart... For it's a sad day when friends allow their friendship to die!   From: AppealingCatherine_49 Sent: 11/23/2003 7:44 AM   Thank you sweet girl friend for the kind words. Yes there is that, one true friend I think or hope we all have who, touches us profoundly for the rest of our life. That friend helps us too see within ourself the best we are. My friend is such a person I am so priveledge to have them as a friend, just as you, and all the friends met from Detroit Adults Room, and cheers too. One thing my father taught me long time before he passed away, people connect through the heart, its how one wears that heart. For thats what makes a person the richest.   From: Dreamwell2 - Sent: 11/25/2003 11:17 PM   To Be held in such esteem..such a special place... as your words say, Your friend is blessed, in a very special way

The following poems written before internet.

Written on 12/6/1994 Where is hope? Where is happiness? Nowhere I say. They have quickly disappeared into the darkness along with the wishes and dreams of the universe. A world of despair. A world of lonliness. A world of fear. Nothing else exists. There's no care left in this world. No one to listen or to comfort. A nothingness of life.   Written on 5/12/1998 There are people who would like nothing more then to destroy hopes and dreams. Sometimes they succeed in tearing apart a heart causing it great pain. Why do they cause such trauma? Do they think a person's too young to decide their own future? Probably. In doing that don't they know they will also destroy happiness and replace it with a loss of all hope in life. By succeeding in their destruction, they can turn a person into an empty soul with nothing left but a shell that knows not how to feel. They can also turn a person into a heartless slave with no desire to live, create, or to be. This is whats becoming normal of late. People wanting others to be lonely, scared, and unhappy forever. Can some really be that jealous? Nobody caring anymore. It's a shame. People trying to rule other's lives simply because they can't understand what brings them happiness? Let people handle their own lives. If they fail it's their own fault. Don't try to turn them into you! Sometimes a person merely wants to have someone listen and share the hurt right along with them when things get depressing. Written 1999 Many say to accept them for who they are yet they turn around and won't accept you! They tell you to grow up and act like a "boring" adult. But watch how a child handles life. Don't they act more adult then a real adult? They don't let the perils of reality get to them like the adults do. Think about it. Who really has a better understanding of the world we live in? The adults or the children? I say the children. They never seem frightened or scared. They speak their mind. They are carefree without worries or fear. They don't panic when things don't go well. They merely put it aside and do something else. Perhaps it's the children who have a better grasp of life. For they do seem the happiest within it!

Where are you?

Where was I when you needed me most?  Was I not there to lend a hug or two?  Did I not make sacrifices for you? Of course I did. I gave up a lot for you! But where were you when I needed a friend? A hug? Or just someone to talk to? Where was your hugs when life was being unkind? Where was your sacrifice? Were were you? You were nowhere. You turned your head and laughed. All I've done for you and this is the thanks I get? Where's the love? If I were to disappear, would you care? Would you even notice? I'm not too sure you would! Even tho I've always been there for you, the space next to me is empty. You allowed me to be sent away to death. With friends like you , who needs enemies? One day you too will ask these very questions... What answer would you get? Think now before it's too late. Take action now. Forgiveness is the greatest give. Don't let this happen to you... Pretend this is the last day of your life, my life. their life and you were asked to make the euology.. What would you say? What will you remember? This is important all... Think on this for awhile... Life's too short to make enemies... Love conquers all..