Delusions of Love

In life we come across all kinds of devious people. Those that are only out to tame, to deceive, to weaken. Hampering the individuality one possesses. The heart gets tricked into wanting more. Honestly, They're just out for the kill. Expecting change instead of acceptance. Trying to act the part of counselor. Trying to get one to 'change their ways'. Love doesn't call names or judge actions. Love accepts and supports all one does. Love doesn't confine themselves to virtuality. It goes way behind that, into a world that is real. When a person refuses to help another, They send a message of selfishness. They send a message of fake love. My heart belongs in Seattle, Whether it ever comes to pass or not, It is where the truth lies. From one of those old romance novels, Whatever the rhyme, whatever the reason. It will take a much stronger heart, To sway this one away again. Much more work involved this time. I simply don't have the time. I wasn't falling for untruth. My guard wasn't being let down. I wasn't in love, thank goodness. I prefer real, honest to goodness friends, NOt those who only want change to occur.

Failure:

When all else fails, why try to fight? A question I've asked myself on countless occasions. Do I just give up trying or do I keep fighting? Sometimes I feel like a failure, wanting to just give up. Wanting to just exist and not give a care about anything. However, somehow, deep inside I can never fully stop. I keep fighting in some form or another just to survive. I constantly ask myself why, yet, I don't stop the fight. It's almost as if some deep hidden force won't let me give up. I've spent countless hours trying to ask this question. Never fully coming up with an answer I'm happy with. Is it a higher power that keeps me going or is there more to it. True, GOD should be good enough reason to continue on fighting. I don't believe, however, that it's the only reason. There are other forces at play here. What forces? I can only guess. Perhaps its the power of family or friends who'd be upset with me. Perhaps it is that one special someone who gives me hidden strength.   (He knows who he is, at least I hope he does).  It's an answer I seek but I don't think I'll ever really find. I've had my really dispairing days where I do want to give up. Somehow I still manage to go to sleep and wake up again the next day! I just don't understand why or how I survive all this... I just know there's some hidden purpose out there.   Maybe one day I'll finally have the answers to this... Until then, I'll just do my best and trying to survive. Even if I always feel like I'm a failure at living...   To be continued... maybe not this year or the next, but someday!

Faith, Hope & Love

Faith:        When things go wrong faith will set us free.        It's the dreams we hold dear..        Having the ability to encourage.        Believing that dreams really can come true... One day! Hope:        We have many hopes and dreams.        Hope for a fulfilling future.        Hope for prosterity.        Hope for long lasting love. Love:        Never punishes, never judges.        Always forgives and supports.        Doing what is right even though it'll hurt.        Never having to say you're sorry!

Revisited Past

I walked in this world unaware of the dangers. I thought I made the right choices in life. The person I became was a complete stranger. I wished aloud for a better life. Suddenly out of the blue a blast from the past. A long lost dream I thought was out of reach. There were demons that shattered the past. It didn't stop a new beginning now in reach.

Soulmates

Reading these past messages and in view of recent events, I've found that some were just dreams or a hope for something more. Perhaps some of these messages were in anticipation of a hopeful return of the past! Starting with events on May 3rd, it seems that the past has finally caught up. My heart finally is in sync with what should have been. Unfortunately as with any dream, there comes complications. The past wasn't kind to either heart, damaging esteem and hope. Sometimes in situations like this, guilt rears up its head and you want what 'might' have been. Sure things happen for a reason, but what kind of reason would there be that would destroy lives and families. It is those kind of things that make you wish you choose the right path to begin with instead of the one already taken.   Only time will tell where this will lead. The Key is understanding and support. To be continued/edited as necessary

Friendship!

Friendship is a powerful entity. It's that glue that holds the world together. Not everyone can be a friend, nor should everyone be a friend. Friends should be chosen carefully and deliberately. Not all friends last forever. The ones that are friends til the end of time. They are true friends. Sometimes you need friends in order to be a friend. Life is never easy alone. It's a wasteland of confusion with too many twists and turns.  Friends are the only ones who can help you make sense of it all. What is amazing is those friends who, no matter what happens, will stick around forever. Somehow they relate to you in a way that makes you more like family then friends. Take some advise, Friends should always believe in you as a human being, rather than Try to persuade your life's choices.

Hearts Truth

My Heart is real, it's part of my infrastructure. Sometimes the feelings inside become hidden. Encouraging friends to follow their 'heart dreams'. Sometimes you give up a dream so others can have theirs. Be true to yourself. Stop worrying what others want. Be generous cause you want to be, not because someone wants you to be. Do what you feel is the right thing, but always be compassionate. Try to understand what a person is really trying to say. Get into their heart and really learn the truth of their actions. Don't assume what you can't explain. Ask if you have doubt.

Missing You

You always brought a smile when I was down. Always held my hand when somehow I felt lost. You always had the right words to say. How could I have known you'd be there for me. I enjoy seeing your name pop up on my screen. I feel safer knowing you're just a keystroke away. You've made me laugh when the smile I thought was lost. Never judging or criticizing my personality. I'm not sure what happened or when it happened. I'm just glad you came in to brighten my world. You mean so very much to me, You're special to me. I smile when I see your name, you enlighten me. When you are near, I can't help but smile. I wish for the day, to see you for real. When you are not here, I lose my way. To be honest, I can't help but miss you!

Day of Change!

Sometimes a movie or TV show comes about that leaves you with a bit of sadness. Not because the storyline was sad or depressing but because it spelled of a dream that you wish would be yours. Here will be my first posted story of dreams and ideas spoken as if the character is the one writing this:  "When you look at how things occur in life you wonder where you fit in. You wonder why somethings happen the way they do."==== Walking alone through the park on this bright cool sunny day, it felt like being on a far away island where you were the lone resident. It was quiet and calming. Nothing to fear and no worries. It was one of those days where you could almost imagine yourself in some sort of ancient history where ladies were ladies and men were men. All the hustle and bustly of the big city seemed non existant. Deeper and deeper into my thoughts I slid, happily dreaming a walking dream...   With parasol in hand on this early spring, I watched as the birds above sang their happy song, fluttering about their daily routine. If only life had been this easy, to be as the birds of heaven hanging their heart just wherever they please. Taking trips in the winter to the warm southern weather of the tropics. I've often wished I, myself was a bird, flying off into the sunset like some heroic cowboy on his faithful stallion.   Today was almost like any other day except this time it was different. I could not quite place my finger on it but something was not quite right. Shortly after passing the happy bluebirds, I noticed that the Marina was not as busy as usual. In fact there was absolutely no one in sight. This was highly unusual for this time of year, for many would be getting their boats ready for picnics and carnivals. Washing down sails and getting things in top shape for Mardi Gras. Yet, today there was complete silence, not even laughter of children running along the piers, dangling their feet in the cool water below.   Further up the path, was even more unusual events. In the middle of the park was this awesome fountain of a mermaid upon a rock where the basket on her head overflowed with water trickling down into the pond glittering among the coins that wishes were made of. Today, however, there were no coins in the pond twinkling in the suns rays. In fact, the water wasn't even flowing. I stopped and thought for a moment and wondered what the problem was. This has never happened before and it was quite a shock.   Finally, towards the end of the park a crowd had gathered, not the usual happy carefree crowd you would expect on a day like this but more of a mob. An angry, fighting crowd. What has happened to this quiet serene town? Why all the fighting? I stepped in closer to hear the commotion. Part 1 June 17, 2009 ==== What I heard was lots of yelling and some fancy dressed business man trying to address his idea to the crowd. They wanted none of his business here. Turns out he was a casino salesman wanting to bring in some slot machines and tables to our park. What he really wanted to bring here was more crime, more violence and more fear. That's what the crowd was yelling about, to stop this man from ruining our town. He was determined that this would be the perfect place to set this up in. There were lots of questions, lots of concerns and of course lots of yelling. To be contunied yet again.... Update September 25, 2009 The shouting was discovered to be the cause of an article in the newspaper about a group of bandits heading our way and what to do with them once they arrived. Several have stated they should be shot on arrival while others wished for a more peaceful solution. A small child who had been standing near the front when I arrived suddenly spoke up. "How about we just send them into a different direction?"  Our town was a secluded quaint town hidden in the middle of a huge forest. Having visitors show up usually was rare as they would need to be 'lost' in order to find us. A group of bandits would definitely pose a threat to our home if they were looking for a place to hide. Once that child spoke up, the shouting actually stopped and now thoughts starting pouring out on how to accomplish this. I decided at this time to speak up. People who knew me know that I rarely offer opinions or suggestions unless I was sure I had a good one. So once I made my offer to speak the crowd hushed to listen. I thought it would be a good idea to build a fake town at the half way point these bandits will most likely travel and make that secluded enough for them but yet out of the way of our actual town to keep it safe. We would also send word out to authorities of this fake town for them to apprehend these criminals. My words spoke volumes and the town immediately dispersed and started on the building. Authorities were notified and were also on their way. It was noted that the bandits would not arrive until 6 hours after our sheriff's had already arrived due to a special road that was clearly hours faster then the average traveled road. There were tons of work being done and our quiet town was hustling with excitement. We were also preparing for a fail plan just in case these bandits made it through the fake town and were getting closer to us. This plan was kept in strict secret even from authorities, to make it almost fool proof. Finally the day arrived where the bandits were spotted just hours away from the fake location. The sheriffs as expected were already set up as store owners, and residents waiting for their arrival, while those of us at the real town were also in readiness for our plan to commence should the need arise. Suddenly they arrived, on horseback. There were only 5 of them and they were quite ruddy in appearance and had that mean look upon their face. Everything was planned perfectly, how they would be received, what would be done and how the capture would be handled. To be continued...

 

* ❤ * Heart of the Ocean * ❤ *

I dreamt of you constantly, I looked for you in the shadows of my mind, I try to understand why you went away... The tears to this day find their way upon my face... The heart has become the neverending sea of dispair and sadness... *~* ❤ *~* ❤ *~* ❤❤ *~* ❤ *~* ❤❤ *~* ❤ *~* ❤ *~* When someone is given a key to a heart and it opens wide and free, it's wise to get to really know the person before you end up destroying them...  © LadyJane * ~* ❤ *~* ❤ *~* ❤❤ *~* ❤ *~* ❤❤ *~* ❤ *~* ❤ *~* DISCLAIMER: LJ since 1966. Any similarities with other LJ's in &/or out of SL is purely Not ME! *~* ❤ *~* ❤ *~* ❤❤ *~* ❤ *~* ❤❤ *~* ❤ *~* ❤ *~*

Stress

I breath a sigh of relief. As I look upon my peeps. I cherish those within. Removed one with stress. Stress destroys health. Brings upon headaches. Distresses the heart. Loses control of senses. Those who are here. My close friends. You are valuable. You are adored. To get rid of stress: Lay your head upon my shoulder. Let me remove your stresses. Let me be the rock that holds you together. Friendships are far and few between. Without special friends we stress. Without special friends we're meaningless. Thank goodness for you, my special friends...

Bitchin

Ha! I've learned something very important. Friends are much more than friends to me. Growing up I've always understood that a significant other should always love you deeper, respect you more and treat you better than a "best, close, Friend". That was always the difference in lovers & friendships... Or so I thought. Well, in view of my last 3 SL relationships, they've all been fakes. For in this case. My friends have been there for me more, have treated me better, respected me more, loved me deeper than any "loved one" I've been with.  In fact, I have phone numbers of my closest dearest friends who aren't afraid to trust me. Those are the ones I value most. My friends are special, they are more than friends to me. It's these people who care the most, respect me the most, and always have me at hello. If fate/destiny intervened and opened the line, it's one I know would be safe to cross. Perhaps that's the real key. Give up those who are fake, and stick with the real friends/loved ones who honestly respect the person you already are. They're the ones who have you in their hearts. They're the ones who know you better than you may even know yourself. Truth is the key. Those who really love are those who take the chance to know you. They respect you and treat you like a Queen. They're true blue and don't run. To me, I refuse to keep RL and SL separate. You can't. What's real in SL is in fact real in RL! If you're not ready to take a relationship outside of SL, don't have one inside SL either. It's hard to just Role Play a love affair without it dripping into the RL world. So to those who only wish to play the game in SL! GO AWAY You fake! I want a real person instead. Someone who has my heart in their best interest... Treat it well, and it will be the best thing that ever happened to you.

Thoughts of Thee!

Unable to sleep I think of thee. Wondering if you think of me. Guarding what I say to you. Wishing my arms around you. Keeping feelings away from thee. Hoping they don't slip from me. Trying to read a mind unclear. Hoping to again hold you near. I sigh in thoughts of you. Remembering the sight of you. Wondering what you want of me. Trying to get a grasp of thee. Sadness creeps over me. Must push away from me. Remembering the dance of love. Gracefully smooth like a dove. Unable to sleep I think of thee. Wondering if you think of me. Dreaming of your face near mine. Perhaps one day you'll be mine.

Redemption

Stab, thrust, stab. Point of steel. Sharp! Deep Deep Deep. Thrusting into heart. Stagger, loss, blood. Splattered across floor. Eyes flutter, eyes stop. Shallow breath, slower. Dark, Shattered, lifeless. Body, empty, alone. Angels calling from above. Come home, my child; come home. Clouds, Fluffy, Float. Drifting upon soft clouds. Stripped away of blood, Clothed in pearly white. Wings, Golden, Pure. Placed upon her back. Eyes wide open blue. Watching over thee. Love strengthens. Humanity saved. Memories sweet. Loves embrace. Whatever thou thinks of me, Thy heart will hold thee up. Smiling down upon earth. Crying deep with earth. Secret thoughts fill heart. Secret tears fill soul. Secret love deepens. Hidden forever in clouds. © LadyJane All Rights Reserved

Waiting...

Hands folded upon they breast. Laid upon the heart in rest. Single rose in fingertips. Enclosed within a shrine of glass. Flowers laid upon her feet. Tears on glass felt like rain. A heart lay in lonliness. The sun and moon, succumb to weep. As on earth its' creatures deep. Nothing much to stop these tears. Waiting for gift of fairytale. A kiss upon soft petal lips. To awaken from her slumber sleep. A gift of life and love renewed. The only cure unbroken heart. Awaken in her dress of blue, Underneath the willow tree, She found herself in dispair. Realizing the end was near. Waiting for her shiny carriage. To wisk her far away with thee. To shoulder her pain and calm her fears. Only to find, an empty carriage. Dispair and tears engulfed her soul. Remembering only its pending death. Wishing for gentle eyes of love, To pierce through her icy stare. Waiting for her own redemption; She fell prostrate upon the ground, Unable to stop the sounds of weeping. Listening to the whispering willow. She gave in to this utter weeping. Allowed the willow to shadow her. Leaned up against it's sturdy trunk. Eyes forward, looking ahead... WAITING.....

Being friends with X's

Found this quote on Madi's Myspace site and it says it all quite well for me. The very reason I don't make friends with ex's! ~having the love of your life break up with you and say "we can still be friends", is like having your dog die and your mother saying "you can still keep it."~

Silence is Golden

Silence is golden says the sun; It is within silence I shine your world. Silence is majestic says the moon; I create shiny waters in the darkness. Silence is brilliant says the stars; I create twinkles without even a sound. Silence is grounded says the earth; I combine the power of sun, moon and stars. Silence is when thoughts connect, Silence is when the soul shines, Silence is when calmness enters, Without silence, headaches occur. The greatest love of all: is sitting under the stars in silence. walking hand in hand in silence. listening to nature without interruptions. I hate when people try to force me to communicate when I do so much better in my printed words. Seems a waste of time when I really much rather become one with nature and silence. In a virtual world some prefer to just sit around on a sim and talk talk talk. That isn't what I came to SL for. I came to learn, to explore. To experience life. I can never just stare at a screen for hours on end. I must work on things, build, organize, keep my mind focused and direct. Learn everything there is to learn. I research things on my own rather than ask questions. Questions are for those things that are too difficult to find on your own. It's after exhausting all other avenues that finally you give in and ask. It's almost better to just give up. Become a cold hearted ***** without soul. I already wear my heart on my sleeve, I don't need to describe what it looks like too. Look at the children who love so unconditionally and free. They don't need communication to express that. They do so with each giggle that comes from their lips. The smiles they show when they're happy. True, honest love doesn't need communication. It needs understanding. Reminds me of a relative who had no voice at all, literally. They couldn't speak, but still managed to snag the love of their life. Their "communication" consisted of flowers, smiling, eye gazing, and love letters. No spoken words, no conversation, just expressions of love for each other. They didn't need to know much about each other either. Love took care of that. They had 75yrs to learn about who each was. It was the most magical relationship one could ever imagine. That's what real love means to me. One day someone will come along and be that magical to sweep me off my feet. Until then, I refuse to become someone I do not believe in.

Tips on Relationships

"This next tip may seem counterintuitive: fight more. According to psychologists, couples who don’t fight are the ones who have affairs. Conflict means there’s passion there. So go ahead and vent your frustrations and afterward, engage in something physical, like a bike ride. Fighting and exercising are activities that produce endorphins that reconnect couples." I agree wholeheartedly with this. It's true that by fighting you are share more passion and more insight. Read more here >>>> ©The Tesh Media Group 2006-2008, All Rights Reserved Old Comments ========================================================================= byoshikawa wrote on Dec 4, '08 Yes/no, true... that fighting to said what we needed to say...but if all can prevent, sit down and talk about it rather then fight about isn't that better... while me and Anlii are together we fight all the time, that doesn't keep us together... it just make us well "me" realize how much different and apart we are....   iceangelwolf wrote on Dec 4, '08 *smiles* exactly, how often you fight does make a difference, but you shouldn't run away to avoid one, but talk through it after calming down some. Some people just run without bothering to figure out how to work through them. I never run from a fight, but try to learn from them.

Christmas Wishes

I hope all are thankful this time of year. This is a time of reflections and of peace to all. It's time to remove fear and become strong. It's time to throw away the past and start brand new in the new year. Start the new year on track. The true meaning of Christmas is NOT to shop for presents for the kids or family; the true meaning of Christmas is to share with your family stories of childhood wishes and dreams. It's this time that is better spent not at your local mall, but in your homes with your children around your feet. Drinking hot chocolate, listening to Christmas music and listen in silence to the real sounds of Christmas. Finally, my wish for you, is to believe in the power of the Christmas Spirit. Do what your heart of hearts instructs you. Just stay away from stores this year!

What love means to me

Friends are people who respect your choices. Significant others are people who respect your personality. I've had people tell me that talking is how you know someone. Not true. Getting to know someone is observing how they treat you. I've never talked about personal stuff with my friends, yet oddly enough, they know everything there is to know about me and then some. Some even know me better than I know myself. This all from me not even saying a word, not holding a conversation about how I 'tick', etc. Merely from me listening to them and providing responses of how I would handle things. Nothing more. I don't ask people about their personal lives. It's up to them to share that with me. I don't ask about their children. Some will get defensive and rightly so. In an online environment, you can never be too careful. I rather let people provide me with info on their child's accomplishments than waiting for me to ask about them.  People who require conversations lose so much quality romantic time. You can't watch the stars while trying to hold a conversation, it loses its momentum, you can't smell the flowers while talking about the weather, you lose its fragrance. Let nature be the words instead. You'll find that the less you actually speak, the more you will learn about the person you are with.  In life, the truth of it all really is... "Less is more". It includes conversations, friends, and special things.    I usually tell people that if they really want to know who I am inside, read my work, watch me react to things, watch me smile. Look deep in my eyes. Regardless whether it's an online or offline relationship; you really can tell if a person is smiling behind the screen or not if you just observe them carefully... For now this is the end of my blog. Not poetry, not prose, just a simple observation on life's special magic; known as love!